I’m only human and I can’t do everything.

Ok, now that we have that out of the way I can go on with my stories of life and the gifts and curses it leaves on me. It’s been awhile since I’ve been here on my site writing about how my life is going and pondering the different aspects of it. Since my last post I have quit helping with the youth in the church and really have become disconnected from any leadership in the church, moved to Canton OH and then to Memphis a mere week later. Since I have moved I have not stopped to think why I did it, moved that is. Over the last few days I have almost completely broken down in thought and the impact of such a dramatic shift in my life that has been so sudden has finally punched me dead on in the teeth. I had a great life in Alliance and had no intention to leave, especially not so suddenly might I add, but timing is everything I guess.

I have been told that people thought I was “running away” or “trying to get away and run from my problems” and I’ve even been told that to the face once before leaving, which stung more than the rest. Unfortunately if I’m to be completely blunt that severely offends and upsets me that people would feel that way instead of being happy for me and the decisions I have made. I didn’t leave Ohio because my world was crumbling all around me (although to a particular extent it was, but that’s personal). I did it because only days after some drastic changes took place in who I was and where I was involved (the church) I had almost nothing holding me back. I’ve had an ache in me to move back to Memphis for years now but whenever I tried going head over heels over head in the past, God put a stop to it and told me to “Calm down” and that “Now isn’t the time” but this time was different. Opportunity knocked and I answered and I won’t apologize for that. I love the youth that I worked with at Alliance Friends and absolutely learned tons of things from that experience, but I think that season passed and on came a new venture for which I opened my arms wide and embraced.

The hard thing for me to cope with now is the friends I left, they were and are amazing people and each have taught me something that I never would have learned if I hadn’t of met them. But as a favorite quote of mine says, “Its sad but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life starts with goodbye” and I wholeheartedly believe that.

Life is not a DVD that we can rewind and fast forward, whiting out the bad parts and filling them with good happy moments. We cannot change our past and we have no control over our future right now, the only thing we can control is the moment we are in right now. I’ve begun a new chapter of my life and I am looking forward to what it will bring. I am (again) not sure why I wrote this post, but it seems to me as though I owe it to people I know and love and trust to have an explanation for why I moved and I’m not even sure anyone will care to read this but if they do I hope they can better understand why I made such a quick decision.

As for how I am now I have no complaints. I have walked from a great chapter of my life into an equally happy and moving chapter and I am very happy for the decision I made. I am currently constructing my Uncle and his Family’s house so they can move in by the end of the month and that will take a lot more work. One of the reasons this post took nearly three weeks after my move to get written is because I have been working non-stop since I got here and hadn’t really thought much about the decision I made or what it could have caused for my friends in Ohio. I think I pushed those thoughts out of my mind so I wouldn’t get upset and I wouldn’t regret but, as we all know, those thoughts tend to catch up with us sooner or later.

I want to be dead honest in the things I write and say and do and so I hope this post gave the raw truth that is my decision to move from Ohio to Tennessee so suddenly. I have so much I could pour into this LCD driven world or type but I’m going to leave it as I have written it.

I leave this post dangling with a tasty new song from the David Crowder* Band off of their new Record “Remedy”. It is my near favorite track from the new album as it is a song that is undeniably Crowder and is something unique that only they could create. I love the guy saying “Let’s try it all together now, 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4…” and it just those little things that make this song fun and unique.